I'll not let depression defeat me

Hi everyone. I wanted to wait until I was “okay” before sharing this, and I think now is the best time to do so. If you’ve read the posts I’ve made throughout the year, you’ll know I’ve had to go through a series of tragic and stressful events—one after another. As the months went by, I honestly began to think I’d never find the peace I was so desperately seeking. My original plan was to work only on Toradora’s Summer Soles this month, but I found it impossible to even focus enough to finish the details for all the scenes. That’s why I decided to start with Taiga’s Awakening REDUX; it was easier to improve an existing story than to create one from scratch while lacking motivation—especially since I haven't been doing well at all since its release. I stopped feeling things; nothing seemed to matter anymore. Then, this past Monday, I finally saw a psychiatrist who confirmed what my loved ones and I had suspected: I am suffering from depression.

I’ve had to deal with this illness several times throughout my life, but never like this. I shudder to think what might have happened without the support of my friends and family—and all of you, too. You always send your best wishes and words of encouragement, often caring more about my mental health than I do myself. Because of that support and my psychiatric treatment, I’ve decided enough is enough. I’m going to do everything in my power to overcome this damn illness once and for all, learn to manage it if it ever returns, and finally fight to achieve the things I truly desire—not just the things I want. It’s a distinction one of my best friends helped me understand only recently.

Regarding my work at GeaGts, the new workflow certainly didn't work for me, so for now, I’m going back to the previous one I used from the start up until last year—though I’ll allow more time for each task. Over time, I’ll look into improving it with the help of an occupational therapist; that’s something I really need, since I’m the first to get frustrated when things go wrong, and this person will help me focus on working well rather than just overworking. I aim to finish Toradora’s Summer Soles over the next couple of weeks. After that, my real goal is to finally create the Halloween comic—a story I’ve had in mind for two years. I fervently want it to see the light of day this October 31st without fail; it’s one of my biggest projects to date and will require re-watching several movies and reading three books, but I’ll do it gladly because it’s something I truly want to do. That is how I’ll choose which comics to create in the coming months.

Finally, I want to thank you all for the support I’ve received, especially during these last few months when things in my life have been so dark. My mood has improved considerably this week, and I hope that a year from now, the efforts I’m making to improve my life will bear fruit—only time will tell, and if you’re reading this and find yourself in a similar situation, don’t be afraid to ask for help. I exhausted all my options until my friends and family stepped in to help; there is nothing wrong with seeking psychological or psychiatric care. These services exist because they are necessary—and increasingly so for many people, given everything bad that has happened in the world in recent years. That’s all for now—see you soon!